This isn't for you, it's for David & Jennifer Yang.

2009 Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for many things. I'm thankful for everything that has ever happened to me, good or bad because it has made me into the person I am today. I'm thankful for the failures and dissapointments I have experienced. For the pain I've endured. For the memories I have a made. The friendships I have formed. The teachers I have built strong bonds and trust with. I'm thankful for my life and health. I am thankful for all these things because without those experiences, I wouldn't have found the reason to work hard, and be positive in life.

This Thanksgiving, I would like to give credit to my wonderful, loving family. Specifically, my parents. I don't think I say these kinds of things enough. I think about them everyday, but for some reason, I guess I never really have the guts or the "heart" to tell them that I love them. Maybe it's because I'm asian, and I'm not used to getting sentimental and touchy with my family, because we all understand each other's emotions deep inside. But this year, in return for everything they've done, I felt like I should be mature and take the time to express my gratitude for their existence and support.

Mom and Dad, you've always been there for me. I don't ever remember a time where I felt alone, with no one to turn to. If things didn't work out with my friends and peers, I knew you'd be there to make me feel better. You took the time to deal with my complaining, fits, and immature behavior. Growing up, you always wanted the best for me. Regardless of how tired, busy, and stressed you were, you made the time to educate and discipline me with high expectations. You gave your best to raise both me and James.

There aren't a lot of parents like you in this world. I haven't met a lot of adults, who have the confidence to sacrifice and endure all things in this world, so they could provide the best education and future for their children. All my life, I have never seen you like the others. In my eyes, you were always ready to support, help, and listen if it was for your family. You always taught us to put God and family first, because that's what really mattered in this world.

You never regretted the money you put into my expensive violin you bought for me. You were the ones that pushed me to practice harder and continue on with my violin lessons and music competitions. Because of you, I was able to experience a lot of things many kids my age weren't able to. You name it; piano lessons, violin lessons, alto saxophone, bellevue youth symphony, church orchestra, cram school, private school, golf, softball, tennis, track, and even swimming (haha, shout-out to joanna even though you won't read this: I only swam in kindergarten/1st grade. I'm not as good as you at swimming :] !) And that wasn't even the complete list of what I did before high school. If I were to reflect my whole life up until now, the list of everything you guys encouraged me to join would be even longer. I remember so many things I did when looking back to my childhood, and I'm forever thankful for your pushing and unconditional support.

And then for James, he has done so much more than me starting from when he was only a kid. Piano lesson, violin lessons, saxaphone lessons, clarinet lessons, drum lessons, swimming lessons, tae-kwon-do lessons, cram school, and private school. At his younge age, what didn't he do? Sure, he had his complaints and ranting, but all in all, he always remained thankful for all your provisions. I know when he grows up into a young man, he's going to work even harder than me, to make you guys proud and pay off all your hard work.

Everyday, you sacrificed your hours to give rides for James and me, after coming home from work. You didn't waste a single minute to prepare food for us in the morning and after school, because you knew we'd be hungry. I admit, we were spoiled children. We weren't spoiled with money, but with love. I understand we aren't the richest or the poorest if we were to look at social rank. In society, we're middle class like most people. And at times, having to pay for all those activities and lessons excluding the monthly bills weren't easy, but never did you guys complain. Because you never complained, at one point, I took advantage of everything you provided. I didn't know how hard you guys had to work to support your children. And what hit me the most was knowing that the stress and trouble you guys went through didn't matter to you at all, because you would do anything for your children. Whenever I look back at that time, I I can't help but regret how selfish and self-centered I was. I'm sorry.

Unlike many (asian) parents, you guys didn't force James and me to be straight A students. Sure, we had lectures, pep-talks, and reminders about our future but you never punished us if we didn't bring home a perfect report card. Why? Because both of you trusted us. And I'm so thankful for that. I know so many of my friends with parents that caused them stress because they didn't feel good enough when they showed their report cards to their parents. But unlike their parents, you guys always wanted us to do our best, and never give up on whatever we started. And because of that mind-set, my goals in life weren't to get straight A's or place top in everything. Instead, my goals in life were to work hard and never stop until I felt satisfied. And because of those principals I lived by, I would bring home good grades, and all my efforts would be paid off. Those very principals were what gave me perserverance, and strength to carry on. Mom and Dad, thank you for teaching me and James such a valuable lesson.

I can't even picture how hard it was for you guys to leave your family in Korea, and start a new life. Both of you were successful in korea. You graduated from college, pursued in your careers, and got married. But you planned ahead for your childrens' futures, so you left everything behind to immigrate to America. I personally wouldn't have had the confidence, and strength to survive in such a foreign place with no one to turn to. But you guys did. You guys had faith in God, in each other, and in your families. It was the unbreakable trust, and faith you had in one another, that kept you going.

Mom and Dad, thank you so much for everything you've done. Words cannot even describe how much I love you. I know James feels the same way too. I just want to say, I understand how hard it was for you guys to manage everything within your busy lives. You guys were always positive. Infront of your children, you always wanted to set a good example. You didn't complain, and you always made the effort to ask how our day was, what we had for lunch, and how we did on the math test we took at school. I don't know how guys were able to be so consistent in being positive, giving your best, and putting yourselves together. Not a lot of people in this world are able to do that.

In return of all your sacrifices, compromising, and hard work, I promise I'll work hard and grit my teeth with no complaints when times are hard, because I know nothing is impossible, compared to what you guys had done for me and James. Thank you SO MUCH mom and dad, really. I love you so much.

I know this whole blog sounds like I was bragging, but I didn't mean to sound stuck-up. This blog was dedicated for my parents, because I felt like they deserved recognition.


And so I've learned, the greatest heroes in this world are your parents.

sleepy

my head has been hurting for a couple weeks. And I've been sick on and off for about 2 weeks. My condition changes from good to bad, and I struggle to not let my sickness effect my focus on schoolwork.

Currently, everything is going good. Projects are all planned. On top of things. My group members in all classes are responsible, hard working, willing to listen/accept other people's opinions, and we all know what we're supposed to do.

I don't think I've ever felt so relieved and productive with a group before. I'm so glad we were able to choose our groups this time in Drake's class. Everyone is respectful, hard working, thoughtful, and active in group discussions. We actually get somewhere in our work. This is probably one of the first times I've actually felt like I didn't have to do all the work by myself in a big project. I know that teachers put certain people in groups because they want to balance everything out, but throughout my stay in high school, I don't remember a time where all my group members took my words seriously, following the schedule I designed for them. I always ended up doing all the work by myself because people were lazy to do their part, or because they turned in lacking, unfinished work that I couldn't allow to slide by.

But even though we didn't get to choose groups in Fisher's class, our group is over halfway done with the project as of today. Done with the website, halfway done with the scratch, and we're going to start the commercial today. I'm glad in Fisher's class, I have people who are willing to do their work, and listen to what I have to say. I'm glad my team members actually read my emails I send out, and do the homework I assign for them. Because everyone cooperates, I don't have to make extra time to get my members to listen to me, or waste time giving them a major lecture about their contribution.

Anyways, enough of the subject of projects. Well, lately, I've been having to stay up later than usual on school nights to be on top of things, but it definitely pays off because I'm ahead of everyone else in my schoolwork, and I have less homework the next day.

I'm so tired, and unfortunately, I won't be having "late arrival" tomorrow, since I have to get to school by 8:45 ish AM to rehearse in the PAC with my piano teacher for an upcoming competition. Yeah.... not being able to sleep in especially on a late arrival day is bad timing, but what can you do? Anyways, the grand piano in the PAC has a certain sound to it, that is excellent training for all pianists to practice on.

my toes and fingers are freeezing right now! why is it so cold?

I still have some other things to do. Well, nights everyone. Have fun sleeping in.

Quarter ends in 2 days, the 19th.

3 years.

When I look back to the years in middle school, it amazes me that I have already reached my second year of high school. Being called a "sophomore" just doesn't sound like me. I feel like I'm still in my old body as a 7th grader.

I remember being in 6th grade, looking at middle school students that came to visit their elementary school teachers. I remember thinking how mature and "cool" they looked. Then came middle school. as 7th grade passed and 8th grade came, everything went by so fast.

As I entered high school as a freshman, one part of me felt so old yet another part of me felt so young because I was a "freshman" - the youngest part of the group in high school. Now, here I am a sophomore. This is my last year as an underclassman. My last year to have the freedom I want to be immature, freedom from having to think about scholarships, psat's, sat's, and the final direction I'll be taking to pursue my career.

I feel nothing, just nothing at all. I don't feel any older, and I wish time could have a huge effect on me, so I could be more motivated each year.

Although it is only the beginning of the school year, I'm deeply grieved to know that everyone will be parting to follow their individual path. Whether it be running start, IB, tech. academy, or regular.... I wish the best of luck to all of you guys.

Because this year is the last year for everyone to be together as tech. family and for everyone to be an underclassman, I've decided to make this year the best. With all this time I've got, I should at least make memories, new friends, work hard, be productive, and use my potential to the fullest capacity. As a sophomore now, I have visions. I have goals. and I have dreams of the future. I've already thought and stressed enough of what I want to do and how to manage my priorities for next year and the year after that.

This year is something I want to make memorable. I want to really appreciate my teachers, be friendly to everyone, and do my best in everything I can so I return to KM as a junior next year with no regrets.

I just wanted to say, I'm going to miss you guys all. Really. Each and everyone of you. The tech. academy will forever be one of the main things I will remember from high school. It has taught me so much from learning how to standby a computer [YES, I wasn't much of a tech. geek back in 7th grade] to collaborating with my classmates with no limitations to educational resources because of my personal laptop. Thank you so much, everyone.

I admit I'm very sad about everyone parting, but I believe this is where our life will finally start to open up. When we make decisions for our future, we can't let anyone or anything stand in our way, and that includes your friends. Because of this mind-set I was taught to live by, I know I will not be afraid to approach foreign things by myself, because I know that if I really want to succeed, I have to accomplish things independently. Even though I can picture myself struggling and stressing at times, I believe in myself. And... I think having confidence and self-esteem are major components in being happy and succeeding. The reason I'm confident that I will be able to ge through things is because of my motivation. I don't remember a time where I gave up on something that I really wanted to do with all my heart, because I knew if I tried my best, I would reach the finish line. And regardless of the struggles and tough times I encountered, that one line I constantly reminded myself is what got me to reach my goals. From looking back to my life, I know that I've had a few valuable lessons to learn from. And those lessons are also what give me confidence and strong belief in the decisions and directions I take.

I know I am not perfect, but as long as I try my best with a righteous mind-set, I know my hard work will pay off. I'm ready, and willing to face all things with a positive approach.

I've realized it doesn't matter if you don't want to do something. It doesn't matter if you suck, fail, or fall behind. No one is going to care, or get out of their way to help you. This doesn't only apply to high school, but to life in general. When you fall behind, you pick yourself up and continue alone. Having friends, turning to a hand, crying on a shoulder, and receiving encouragement is a privilege. The rest is up to you. Your results of approaching something totally by yourself is the performance of how you will do in life when you're all by yourself.

It is now that I realize that one year leads after to another. Although that is such an obvious thing to consider, I never really took the time to understand or accept those words. Now that I'm older and finally managing my time more, I've began to see how fast time goes, and how much you can do in so little time.

So guys, let's make the best of the 3 years that are remaining in high school. Next year, I know a lot things are going to change, but I'll always remember and think of everyone.

You have it so much better than others.

A few days ago, I was talking to one of my friends [he will be nameless], and over the summer, we would talk a lot about school and our new goals for the school year. After checking up on how he was doing so far into the school year, I was once again dissapointed in him. Now, I'm not dissapointed in people that try their best and still don't get the results they work for. But with my friend, it was a different case. He didn't ever do good in school, didn't care to focus on his priorities, and felt hopeless, because of the fact he was lazy. These days, kids just don't get it. There are kids that just don't care about school, because they feel as if they'll still get somewhere even if they don't graduate high school. They think they'll be able to straighten their act whenever they feel like it.

Sigh.

We're so selfish. The students [especially kids in America] don't know how lucky they are to go to school. They are not thankful for being able to go to school for free, and have the privilege of attending clubs, and joining sports that their schools provided for the students.

You see.... every single day, students are provided with opportunities. With all this time we have in high school, all we ever do is complain about what we can't do, what we have to do, and what we don't have. Just stop complaining. Stop being so lazy.

You really don't know how good you have it. I wish kids could get it through their head that anyone can get good grades, and achieve things they wanted to do. Sometimes, success seems like an impossible thing for some, but those individuals are the ones that have never really tried their best in anything.

It's easy to realize your flaws, what you need to fix and improve on, and your dissapointments. But it's hard to actually put in your effort, and be consistent in what you do. I wish students in America could stop being so selfish. If you think about it, all we ever do is whine, complain, rant, and resent our teachers for giving so much work and stress onto our shoulders.

But did you ever think about yourself at a national scale? Have you ever thought about the kids in third world countries, who do whatever they can on the streets to earn money, just so they can afford enough money for school? And have you ever thought about those students in Asia who get 2 hours of sleep, going to school on saturdays, staying at school until 10 PM to study, and yet... they STILL cannot get into the college they want? Have you ever thought about anyone else but yourself?

We all need to realize, there are millions of kids who want what we have. There are so many people that work harder than us, that would do ANYTHING to be in our place. To go to school, get help from teachers, make new friends, carry simple binders and pencils around, and use lockers to store all our supplies. We complain about all the work we have to do in one night, when really.... if we did our best to productively use our time, we could've been on top of things much more.

It's sad to see potential going to waste, as kids just skip school, cheat on school work, and have this "I don't care, I'm just going to play in life" kind of attitude. Although I sound extremely blunt in this blog, I'm going to be straight forward with those kind of people right here:

You aren't going to succeed, in fact... you are never going to make it anywhere if you just lay around and sit there. Out of all the times in your life, this will be one the only time when people say no to you and constantly remind you of your failures, and never will you be able to say YES back to anything. This is the one time where you will have to face your mistakes, and do something about it. You're dealing with your own future. This is your life. Wake up, and face reality. You can't escape this time. And once you start to escape, all the things you ignored will continue to add up for you to finish in the end.

My point is, whether you are an average student, a slacker, or a hardworking kid, we should always be thankful for what we have.

All people ever do is talk about how thankful we should be and how good we have it, when really... we don't give a care about the world. When really, we're just expected to be appreciative and never really know what others are going through.

Seriously, if the kid in Asia who worked 10 times harder than you came to America, THEY would have their college application accepted, and not you. THEY would be the one to finish their homework, find time to do things, and not complain.

If you think you need motivation, an extra push, more opportunities, and support, think again.

Other kids are alone, and they are independent with what they do. They support themselves, and sacrifice everything for their future. They don't get any sleep, they risk their health, study all day for entry exams, and yet..... all their hardwork is still not enough to get into a mediocre college in their country. Students in Asia are so competitive with their academics, if they aren't the top 1 in their class, they are bound to not get anywhere.

If you think YOU are living in a competitive environment, you have not looked at the big picture.

We have no right to slack or complain. Opportunities await for you everyday. You just need to search for them yourself. And people need to quit being so lenient on themselves. There are people who are already thinking of not graduating high school, but still thinking of going to special schools where they train people for jobs. Those individuals have already gave up on themselves. They've already planned to go for less.

That my friend..... is so unfair. Just because doing good is hard. Just because it seems too late to try in school or even get a decent grade.

Well, good things in life aren't easy to achieve. You earn your way through, and if you continue to just ignore what your teachers and peers tell you to do, you won't get anywhere.

we are never grateful enough for what we have. we always want more or less of something.

we just don't realize how lucky we are, and in order to show our appreciation, we should at least do our best not just for ourselves, but for all those students out there that yearn to go school, to know what it feels like to have homework, and to have a bright future.

A lot of things - A good guide for those who are lost.

I understand.

I understand when you're trapped, confused, and feeling weak.

I understand what it feels like to feel so small, and useless compared to others.

I understand the pressure. The stress. The tears, the anger, and the burning determination.

I am a student. I have understood what it means to be in high school.

For those who are lost, not knowing what to do in life.... thinking about why you aren't capable to do certain things and complaining about your problems isn't going to help you at all. What's really going to help you out is figuring what you need to change, and how you're going to get there. Everyday, the same people are always talking and excitedly planning about what they want to do for their future, when in the end they suffer and become non-committed.

You see, it's about planning. It's about being mature in keeping a promise to yourself, without allowing your temptations to get a hold of you. Don't be lenient on yourself, yet don't greedily overload yourself.

As I look around in a room full of classmates, I am aware that every now and then, people see me as some sort of "music prodigy" or some kind of role-model that is talented. But to tell you the truth, I'm not as talented or musically inclined, really. I'm not being humble or modest about what I just said. A lot of peers say that I'm bad at taking compliments, and that I'm humble.... but the truth is, I'm not. You need to realize, I'm not someone that is significantly talented in a circle of semi-pro musicians. Neither am I "talented" when I think about myself at a national scale. Sure, depending on the environment and the people that are there, I could stand out a little, but if you were to look at the big picture.... I'm just another student that's doing what's expected of them - working hard.

But you know what?

I accept that. I accept who I am, but that doesn't mean I stop there. I can still do something about it. I can still improve, do better, and get where I want to be if I work hard. And just because I accept my flaws, failures, and dissapointments doesn't mean I lack confidence. Acceptance is something that is so hard for certain people to understand, but it's all apart of maturity.

You see, I am who I am today, because of the effort I put into the things I wanted to work hard in. And maybe, I'm just not doing my best, or trying hard enough, because deep inside I know I can do better. Yeah.... Im' not always proud of what I do and my results, but that pushes me to do more.

I understand that every now and then, when there's a super star in the school that is able to do anything and everything with excellence, it can bring jealousy and even motivation. But sometimes, whatever drives you to do more and better... can come out in the worst ways.

Whether it be anxiety, fear, jealousy, or burning motivation, we always need to be patient and think over what our priorities are. Figuring out our personal strengths and qualities of ourself is the always the first thing we need to think about, before we join a club or get involved in an activity.

So many people in my classes, in Kent Meridian High school, and in this nation do not know what it means to really succeed, nor do they realize what colleges really seek. I'm not saying that I know everything about colleges and I have nothing to worry about, because in actuality, I'm no better than anyone. I have plenty of weaknesses and things I have to improve on. I have plenty of incapabilities, and things I do not know.

But people need to realize that they can't always base their actions from their feelings... even motivation. Because everything needs planning, and thinking.

If you're going to a big name college... THINK. think why you want to go to that college. What's so good about that college anyways? What's are the specific needs you want from that college? What's the personality of that college? Do you work better in smaller or bigger learning communities, and does the college you want to apply for satisfy you with the amount of students and teacher-student relationship? Are you sure you'll get the best out of your future there? Are you sure they provide the best education even when Ivy league colleges these days are all about the names?

You see..... too many people are scared. their fear and anxiety is what drives them to instantly jump to conclusions about Ivy league colleges.

To all those out there that are caught up in so much stress and "crap," I tell you, please get rid of your pride. that's very FIRST thing you do. Although stripping away your pride is something that helps someone have confidence, pride is something that blinds people's decisions in so many ways. At this point, it's time you have to be honest with yourself and think about your qualifications. It's at this very point life... where you realize who you are, and regardless of how you feel, you have to accept it. And once you accept who you are regardless of how painful it is, you move on from there and make a new promise. A promise that CAN be made - a harder working, prioritized, and more responsible you.

I wish students could get it through their heads that college admissioners already know the darn old trick that every student uses: the CAFETERIA METHOD for clubs. It's when students overload themselves with clubs, with no strong committment within each club. to be HONEST, clubs do not take a lot of time at all. They're once a week, and at the most an hour. Sure, clubs involve activities, community service, and other involvements that take up a few hours every now and then.... but really? It doesn't make a significant difference on who you are.

I'm going to be straight forward with the truth here.

Don't join a club, if the club isn't your passion. Don't even join a club just because you're going to take a leadership position in there. Because... it's really not going to make a difference on your transcript. It's the thing that your MOST passionate about that will lead you to do great things and bring change to the club, and reach out to the school and community. Colleges don't expect much from clubs, unless the individual made a significant difference within the community from the club. Otherwise, you're just another one of those average students in the nation going to a club once a week, and afterwards, going home. Big deal.

seriously, PLEASE. LISTEN. If you want to succeed, stop comparing yourself to others so negatively. You will NEVER succeed in life, if you continue on with that nasty habit. Always accept yourself for who you are, and take on the mistakes and things you wished you could change about yourself in a positive way.


And here's another big thing. I'll be straight foward. It's true - to get into a big name college, you need to be exceptionally skilled in at least one talent, and show the results through recognitions, awards, and competitions. Whether it be sports, music, debate, or etc..... you need to compete with others to see how far you can go, and how much harder you need to work. College admissioners prefer an individual that is committed to just one or two things they're exceptionally good at, instead of doing several things at a mediocre level. I'm aware that many people in high school "don't know" their personal talent they can be proud of. Honestly, although it sounds extremely corny, I'll say it anways. Everyone has a talent. Everyone has something they can be proud of. Sometimes, people are lucky and have parents that had their kids pick up on a sport or instrument at the age of 3, so they could have more experience. Some kids never heard of extracurricular activities until they stepped into their advisory class in freshman year. Of course at that stage, those kids are going to be dissapointed, feeling hopeless.

People need to realize: YOU DON'T SUCCEED by just going to an IVY league college. college is not where your life ends at all. you still got plenty of years to enjoy your life, and make the best out of it. All colleges have a specialized major or field they excell in, and it's best to get into those majors instead of just a mediocre major the college provides. Regardless of your qualifications, you have to accept yourself and realize where you can go and what you can do. Because what really matters is not about the college you can get into, but your effort and what you can contribute to the community.

No matter what.... don't ever be dissapointed about yourself. Don't you EVER.

Because all your hard work will pay off, and I promise you, your results WILL reflect the amount of effort you put into everything IF..... you base your plans and actions with RIGHTEOUS attentions and careful planning. To succeed, pride and arrogance is something that is never involved. Take away all that pride and the compliments you received your whole life. Think about yourself for once, and be honest..... who are you? What do you think of yourself? Why? and then..... how are we going to change that?

The best thing to do is never compare yourself in a negative way to others. Only focus on yourself, ALWAYS. But before you focus.... make sure that your dreams and goals are all very detailed having a reason WHY you want to do the things you do. Because when it comes to colleges, so many students just don't know the real answer to why they want to go to Harvard, or Yale. Why not a smaller college that still provides the same education as Harvard? Honestly.... do you do it for the reputation and the name? Be HONEST with yourself.

Also, never ever be cocky. A high school star is nothing compared to the nation. Even if you're the best of the best at school and in the community, you still have thousands of other students competing with you, and some of them are more harder working than you are.

so I hope this helped. i was talking to a friend about this, and that individual was the only this year that seemed to connect the same way as I did about these kinds of subjects.

Please..... before it's really too late, realize what's really going to get you somewhere. don't be selfish, greedy, blind, unrealistic, and depressed about everything.

just calm down and think about it.

Yo

so just got home a few minutes ago from the splash concert, and a late-night teriyaki meal x)

hahaha.

today was a good day. I'm so glad I didn't have to accompany the sound connection choir on the piano! Mr. Thompson unexpectedly gave me the music yesterday, and wanted me to play the piece by today, at the concert. Fortunately, he said "don't worry about it, I'll just play it." phew!

anyways, splash concert = pretty good. i knew this year's orchestra had some hard working freshmen, that were willing to improve. seriously. our orchestra improved a lot for a start, compared to last year. last year's orchestra improved a lot too throughout the year, but the orchestra's start this year is a little stronger. i'm excited. hopefully we keep this going, and i can still manage to keep these kids in line, guide, and help them out. The audience loved it, and totally got the whole practical jokes behind the performance. choir improved a lot too, seriously! it helps to have a big choir, by forming all the different types of choirs together. piano accompaniment by this one dude was very passionate, and relaxing as well. woot. oh and at the end of the concert, I met charlie outside because he got out of the concert from recording for royals weekly review. I had to get an interview as the concert mistress of the orchestra. MAN... I look like crap, and sound so stupid and careless on that recording. I know it's gonna be on the video because the girl said so, and we couldn't re-record. i had so many distractions. oh well... just laugh with me when you see it please.

well, i barely have hw tonight, just spanish. it's because i finished up all the english homework last night, finished last night and today's math hw yesterday, already started on the media production for fisher's project, and etc. i'm ahead on stuff. no need to stress about school work.

happy happy =)

it pays off to be productive.

well, late arrival tomorrow for everyone. but not for me. gotta get to school by 8:30 AM to meet up with my piano teacher, to rehearse the competition piece at the PAC. nervous but just a little....tiny bit pumped. my teacher just told me she was sick, but that she would still try to come tomorrow to school. man, hope she is able to come so we can rehearse. otherwise, i'm just gonna rehearse by myself at the PAC, because mr. roller and mrs. cate gave me permission.

ahaha...... i'm writing too much. i'm gonna stop right here. and i realized, that people do read my blogs. i wrote my blog posts for me to clear my thoughts or vent, and apparently a few people do get a few ideas out of them. well, i haven't checked the comments on blogs for so long, forgot they even existed.
thanks for those commenters, and i'm sorry i'm a little late on that.

see you all tomorrow. get some rest guys, and sleep in. technically, i get to sleep in 2 more hours, since i usually wake up at 5:30 AM for zero hour, but tomorrow i'm waking up at 7:30 AM for competition rehearsal.

yay!

Sometimes,

you just go to move on.

there comes a point in life where you realize the way you approach and deal with things are immature, selfish, and self-centered.

there comes a point in life where you realize you can't base your actions because of your emotions, and the temptations that follow along with those feelings. Everyone has to have patience, endurance, and self-control.

and there comes a point in life where you realize you weren't as great as you thought you were. There were certain things you wish you could've done better, or at least improve on. we should never feed our minds with how great we are, even if we are proud. Because the truth is, you aren't the best in the world. you aren't the smartest. you aren't the fastest. you aren't the greatest. there's people that work harder than you and that have experienced life a lot more than you have to build them up with perseverance to endure anything.

we're all immature. whether it be a high school teenager, or even a 40 year old adult, we're not perfect. and the way we deal with situations, especially the ones that effect us negatively, are approached in really immature, and careless ways.

and the hard thing is, getting past that behavior to change in better ways, and be more positive. The hardest thing is keeping your word about it all, and being consisent. The easy thing is probably realizing what you need to change.

Human nature.... it's all too interesting yet complicated in ways you could never categorize no matter how deep you search.