Monday, January 24, 2011
-community service + CAS hours
-scholarships and essays
-and currently: FINALS - IOP the 25th tuesday.
I CAN DO IT!
"Forever is a long long time and time has a way of changing things." -Fox and the Hound
Love that movie.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I used to search for ultimate happiness. I thought it was something I could attain and grasp eventually over time. However, that is not so. In actuality, happiness is the little bits and moments of life that you chose to be thankful and positive for, and smile for. When you look back in your life, you'll realize you already achieved happiness. Happiness is eternal and ongoing. It just doesn't take place in all the moments of your life.
Life is really what you make of it.
In times of struggling, you have to gain the strength to overcome your fears and discouragement with positivity and motivation.
In times of loneliness, emptiness, and unhappiness, you have to accept and realize that you will never have a definite answer of who you are, because it will always change within every moment of your life. I've learned that in life, your thoughts and views of your identity will not remain the same because you can't be God and be able to determine what kind of person you were during your entire existence. That's impossible. Our answers will always change because in actuality, life isn't so simple. We cannot determine who we are by the mere moments we have experienced from day one until now. We are forever changing and growing. However, you can be thankful and happy with the moments you experience, and give your best during those times.
Although one can never achieve happiness within every single second of their life, if they are willing to go through painful process of forgiving themselves and their peers, accepting their mistakes/faults, and facing their fears, they will be able to move on in life, and have the energy and willingness to once again be positive for the future.
I've also learned another thing. Perfection and good reputation are ironically the bane of everyone's existence. People shouldn't aim for perfection and recognition because eventually, they will lose themselves. If one is aiming for only perfection and the life they designed for themselves, they will only be living a dream - living in illusions and having too high of expectations.
People should learn to accept what has happened in their life regardless of how painful, awful, and horrifying it may be.
All in all, one will never be able to find who they are. They will never be able to wake up one day, and figure out their identity, and live with that same identity throughout the rest of their life.
In my dark days and weak days, I will from now on choose to be positive. I will from now on choose to be GRATEFUL and thankful. From now on, I will stop comparing myself to other peoples' sufferings, hiding my feelings, and lying to myself that I am okay. Instead, I will be honest with my feelings and how I feel, and from there, will accept and move on. I will stop telling myself that I am selfish becauseof the fact that I want to give myself a little time to cry every now and then when there are people in much worse situations, because I am here right now, with this problem waiting to be solved. I need the pieces to be mended. I need to organize my thoughts and emotions. In order to reach out to those who are in greater need, I need to get ahold of myself first. I will start being the best me I can, while being positive and grateful within every given moment, because when I reach my last days and reflect my past, I will then know that I was happy during those moments - therefore, already having pursued happiness.
Monday, January 10, 2011
I feel that bit of hope gleaming in my heart. It's finally bright.
I realized I haven't blogged for a while. I realized I been far, far away from the world. Actually, I've realizeed a lot of things over the past months this year.
But today, I've realized perhaps one of the most important things of my life. Nikki Molina helped me along the way.
It's too much to say in words. And I find that rather funny because I am a person that has quite a lot to say most of the time, but this time, I know there wouldn't be enough words in the dictionary to completely get everything off my chest.
This hope I feel from the knowing that I am not alone, that someone is there going through the same thing as me and understanding me, makes me feel at peace.
I finally have peace at mind.
I am so grateful to God and one of the messengers he sent down for me to meet. Thank you Nikki Molina, for your warmth.