People these days are too lenient on themselves.

"You aren't perfect. Cut yourself some slack."


I'm starting to hate that line.


One of my philosophies in life is to never settle for less. I was raised to do my best under all circumstances, or at least put forth some effort. In every obstacle, struggle, and fight, it involved my blood, sweat, and tears. And even though I work hard to the point where I overthink everything, and fail to exceed my expectations, I don't ever give up. I know I am far from perfect, but that doesn't stop me from striving for the best. Every time, after every failure, dissapointment, and ridicule, I pick myself up and get stronger. I am continually strict on myself because I know that is the only way I will reach my goals. And why do I do this? Because I know that "many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

These days, kids don't work hard. The role of teenagers have changed so much. Sure, the world is constantly developing and life brings changes, but we can always control what we want to change and what exactly we should change. Our society is corrupt, and it is a deep concern. What makes it worse is that people are fine with it, and half of those who are careless don't even come to realize what is so wrong with our world. They know that humans aren't perfect, allowing them to think that it's okay to make careless mistakes and screw around or what they call "experiment" with their life. If they actually took the time to hear the words that came out of their mouth, they would be surprised from how pitiful they sound. From what I've seen, I can say that this generation of teenagers are out of control, irresponsible, and lazy.

Hard work is required everywhere you go. You can never outbeat skill, dedication, and hard work because it is those things that determine a person's success.

For these past 16 years, I have not experienced enough to have the full right, claiming that I know everything about the world. There are many things I'm not aware of, and a myriad of opportunities I have waiting for me. But regardless of all this lacking, in this short amount of time and with little experience, there is still so much I have learned. So much I have felt deep inside. And one of the things I have learned about the world, is that a lot of things about it (not the whole world and everything within it) have changed - changed for the worst. And that includes the people living in it as well.

Innocence. Purity. Honesty. At one time, those things actually mattered to people. They were valued, taken seriously to the heart, and a part of everyone's life. People actually strived to be good. Now, it's not so much. In fact, it's the exact opposite.

These days, teenagers are far too lazy and don't know even care (enough) of how their actions, decisions, and choice of priorities all amount to their future and effect their surroundings. And in the end, they complain, realize, and eventually regret. It's these kinds of cycles, lives, and mistakes that are continually on repeat. I can't stand people in this generation. Sure, people may take into account the consequences they would face from making certain decisions, but doesn't everyone? Since when was making smart decisions and being responsible simply knowing right from wrong and the punishments? Being responsible requires much more than that - it takes consistent action, not just words.

I wish people were more honest to themselves. I'm not saying I'm perfectly honest, responsible , and fitting all these ideal descriptions of a teenager. My point is, I wished more people accepted them fully for who they are and took the time to look in the mirror, and seriously think about their actions, and if they're going to live the same life today as they did yesterday. People are so ridiculous, and their only excuses these days are the fact that we're only human, therefore proving that we are bound to make mistakes. And it's these kinds of lines they apply incorrectly their life, allowing their mind to think that it isn't so bad, or actually okay to intentionally mess up, and disappoint your parents. Again, settling for less. Lack of trying.

You know what I've realized? It's always the guilty, the cheaters, liars, and excuse-makers that have so much to say and explain. They have so many details about their life to stretch and exaggerate. They have so many defenders and haters. They have the fame, popularity... and the pity. People are far too lenient on themselves, and when they try hard to defend themselves and have some self pride.... they don't even realize that they're actually lowering themselves and destructing their self-pride.

I've learned that in life, the only way you're actually going to live a good, clean life and be happy is to live the righteous way and learn from your mistakes. And learning from your mistakes isn't just feeling the pain and afterwards move on from the pain. Learning from your mistakes is knowing how to accept everything that happened, and learning how to apply the valuable lesson you learned to your future life. And why should we do that? In order to not make the same mistake again, live the same life, and come clean.

People don't take enough time to strive for the better, no matter what they say. No matter what they claim to know. Regardless of their excuses, and the famous line, "You don't understand me neither do you know anything at all. You've never been in my shoes. You don't know my life. Who are you to tell me what to do? So don't judge."

Well, people are obviously trying to help you, or fix out your life because of the way you present yourself, and put on a show.

If you are in need of help, actually try to take the smart path and fix your problems, instead of living in circles. And don't take your despisers' and opposing words into offense. Actually take the time to think about why the would say such things about, and the deep meanings behind their message. Although people hurt and betray one another, there are always reasons for what they say.

I believe people don't talk about these kinds of topics enough these days. So, I think everyone can learn from this. These words don't amount to anything great or wise. They're just words from my opinion, that I think people should keep in mind every once in a while. Words like these are even to those who are arrogant and blind to who they are. They are for the pure, humble, and patient. They are applicable to everyone because we're all hypocritical. Everyone should take the time to slowly, intensely, and thoughtfully think about the immense change of our people in this generation.

What a Change.

Sophomore year has definitely brought some changes. Who knew I could change so much in a few months? No one expected it. What's funny was that this year, I wasn't as thrilled after finals ended. Sure, I felt happy but I didn't feel relieved, like a huge weight was dropped from my shoulders. The day after finals just felt like another day to look forward to work, work, more work, and future work. Haha... kinda sad.

Well, this year, a lot happened in so little time. I don't know why, but for some reason, I like this year a lot. Its.... peaceful. All my peers this year seemed to be having a hard time struggling with what they have to do, but this year, I guess it's because of the promise I kept to myself that helped me persevere through all the difficult times. Last semester was a good one for me, and hopefully this semester will be too. The classes I'm taking, the teachers I have, and their learning styles are all very different from one another, but it's trained me to adapt to their learning systems. It's helped me realize that there's no use to complaining because in the future, no one's going to change or make way to fit everything based on your needs.

Other than than the mutual changes that all my classmates and I felt, personally, there were a lot of changes for me.

Sophomore year definitely kept me busy, and on my toes. There were many things to prepare for outside of school. Bellevue youth symphony auditions for violin (which are coming up very soon), piano competitions, and other music preparations kept me busy. Having to practice hours every day regardless of the time of day exhausted me but I pushed myself to focus and concentrate. The reason was, I wanted to work hard because I knew everything I do now would shape my future. Other than music, there was community service, NHS, key club (which I haven't been to go for a while now, because of mock trial), and Mock Trial. Community service and Mock Trial took a lot of my time due to the insane amount of homework (especially at the beginning) and the club meetings lasting until 4:30, held at least 3 times a week. From looking at the kinds of things I participated, it made realize what I should and shouldn't have been involved in based on my main priorities and schedule. This semester, I want to focus and dedicate even more time onto my main focuses outside of school: piano and violin. Why? Because from looking back into semester 1, it gave me the feeling that I was a bit scattered all over the place, and I didn't have a strong foundation, or at least a focus point on one specific area. There's so much I want to do with music and I'm just too excited to prepare for it all.

Another major change has been orchestra. This year, orchestra is very different from last year. We have a ton of freshman, and a lot of violas. I miss Logan and Kailee dearly. I miss sitting next to Logan and playing with him. I miss rehearsing and getting coachings when all of us were in our private string quartet. I miss getting rides from Kailee and listening to her singing along to "Into the Woods." Hahaha. But nonetheless, I've been working hard to be a "decent" leader for the orchestra. As concertmistress, I'm trying to set a good example and not be a negative influence for the freshman, but sometimes, it's a bit frustrating when they don't pay attention, or constantly talk when they're not supposed to. But all in all, I get the feeling that being concert mistress this year was harder than it was in freshman year during 1st semester. Anyways, I'm doing my best for KM's orchestra and of course for Logan and Kailee!

Well.... other than the major changes, this year, I remember the times when I was discouraged. There were times when I wanted to lose hope and forget about the promise I made to myself. But it was during these times, when I realized at the end of the day, I would regret my whole life from giving up after just a little pain. This year, I learned that if I really want something, I'll do whatever it takes and go all lengths, regardless of the challenges and the barriers.

Looking into the future makes me aware that I have so much more that I want to accomplish, achieve, and work for. And it's sophomore year when I'm finally getting the sense that I'm growing up - that I am a young adult, preparing and shaping my future during these remaining years of high school. I've always known that I'm not a quitter, but this year, the fire for my determination has lit even more.

Overall, the whole "feel" of being a sophomore is totally different from being a 9th grader. But, I wouldn't have it any other way. Although my view on sophomore year isn't the same as the majority of my classmates, it makes me aware that my productivity during the summer paid off.

I hope 2nd semester is a success for all the hardworking and determined KMTA classmates. I know all of us work so hard, and have our own individual goals. I wish the best of luck for all of you, and I pray that you'll stay put to your promises and never give up! Let's make the last year of being a KMTA student and an underclassman (if that's a word) our utmost best!

Good luck, class of 2012!