Friday, November 27, 2009

This isn't for you, it's for David & Jennifer Yang.

2009 Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for many things. I'm thankful for everything that has ever happened to me, good or bad because it has made me into the person I am today. I'm thankful for the failures and dissapointments I have experienced. For the pain I've endured. For the memories I have a made. The friendships I have formed. The teachers I have built strong bonds and trust with. I'm thankful for my life and health. I am thankful for all these things because without those experiences, I wouldn't have found the reason to work hard, and be positive in life.

This Thanksgiving, I would like to give credit to my wonderful, loving family. Specifically, my parents. I don't think I say these kinds of things enough. I think about them everyday, but for some reason, I guess I never really have the guts or the "heart" to tell them that I love them. Maybe it's because I'm asian, and I'm not used to getting sentimental and touchy with my family, because we all understand each other's emotions deep inside. But this year, in return for everything they've done, I felt like I should be mature and take the time to express my gratitude for their existence and support.

Mom and Dad, you've always been there for me. I don't ever remember a time where I felt alone, with no one to turn to. If things didn't work out with my friends and peers, I knew you'd be there to make me feel better. You took the time to deal with my complaining, fits, and immature behavior. Growing up, you always wanted the best for me. Regardless of how tired, busy, and stressed you were, you made the time to educate and discipline me with high expectations. You gave your best to raise both me and James.

There aren't a lot of parents like you in this world. I haven't met a lot of adults, who have the confidence to sacrifice and endure all things in this world, so they could provide the best education and future for their children. All my life, I have never seen you like the others. In my eyes, you were always ready to support, help, and listen if it was for your family. You always taught us to put God and family first, because that's what really mattered in this world.

You never regretted the money you put into my expensive violin you bought for me. You were the ones that pushed me to practice harder and continue on with my violin lessons and music competitions. Because of you, I was able to experience a lot of things many kids my age weren't able to. You name it; piano lessons, violin lessons, alto saxophone, bellevue youth symphony, church orchestra, cram school, private school, golf, softball, tennis, track, and even swimming (haha, shout-out to joanna even though you won't read this: I only swam in kindergarten/1st grade. I'm not as good as you at swimming :] !) And that wasn't even the complete list of what I did before high school. If I were to reflect my whole life up until now, the list of everything you guys encouraged me to join would be even longer. I remember so many things I did when looking back to my childhood, and I'm forever thankful for your pushing and unconditional support.

And then for James, he has done so much more than me starting from when he was only a kid. Piano lesson, violin lessons, saxaphone lessons, clarinet lessons, drum lessons, swimming lessons, tae-kwon-do lessons, cram school, and private school. At his younge age, what didn't he do? Sure, he had his complaints and ranting, but all in all, he always remained thankful for all your provisions. I know when he grows up into a young man, he's going to work even harder than me, to make you guys proud and pay off all your hard work.

Everyday, you sacrificed your hours to give rides for James and me, after coming home from work. You didn't waste a single minute to prepare food for us in the morning and after school, because you knew we'd be hungry. I admit, we were spoiled children. We weren't spoiled with money, but with love. I understand we aren't the richest or the poorest if we were to look at social rank. In society, we're middle class like most people. And at times, having to pay for all those activities and lessons excluding the monthly bills weren't easy, but never did you guys complain. Because you never complained, at one point, I took advantage of everything you provided. I didn't know how hard you guys had to work to support your children. And what hit me the most was knowing that the stress and trouble you guys went through didn't matter to you at all, because you would do anything for your children. Whenever I look back at that time, I I can't help but regret how selfish and self-centered I was. I'm sorry.

Unlike many (asian) parents, you guys didn't force James and me to be straight A students. Sure, we had lectures, pep-talks, and reminders about our future but you never punished us if we didn't bring home a perfect report card. Why? Because both of you trusted us. And I'm so thankful for that. I know so many of my friends with parents that caused them stress because they didn't feel good enough when they showed their report cards to their parents. But unlike their parents, you guys always wanted us to do our best, and never give up on whatever we started. And because of that mind-set, my goals in life weren't to get straight A's or place top in everything. Instead, my goals in life were to work hard and never stop until I felt satisfied. And because of those principals I lived by, I would bring home good grades, and all my efforts would be paid off. Those very principals were what gave me perserverance, and strength to carry on. Mom and Dad, thank you for teaching me and James such a valuable lesson.

I can't even picture how hard it was for you guys to leave your family in Korea, and start a new life. Both of you were successful in korea. You graduated from college, pursued in your careers, and got married. But you planned ahead for your childrens' futures, so you left everything behind to immigrate to America. I personally wouldn't have had the confidence, and strength to survive in such a foreign place with no one to turn to. But you guys did. You guys had faith in God, in each other, and in your families. It was the unbreakable trust, and faith you had in one another, that kept you going.

Mom and Dad, thank you so much for everything you've done. Words cannot even describe how much I love you. I know James feels the same way too. I just want to say, I understand how hard it was for you guys to manage everything within your busy lives. You guys were always positive. Infront of your children, you always wanted to set a good example. You didn't complain, and you always made the effort to ask how our day was, what we had for lunch, and how we did on the math test we took at school. I don't know how guys were able to be so consistent in being positive, giving your best, and putting yourselves together. Not a lot of people in this world are able to do that.

In return of all your sacrifices, compromising, and hard work, I promise I'll work hard and grit my teeth with no complaints when times are hard, because I know nothing is impossible, compared to what you guys had done for me and James. Thank you SO MUCH mom and dad, really. I love you so much.

I know this whole blog sounds like I was bragging, but I didn't mean to sound stuck-up. This blog was dedicated for my parents, because I felt like they deserved recognition.

And so I've learned, the greatest heroes in this world are your parents.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


my head has been hurting for a couple weeks. And I've been sick on and off for about 2 weeks. My condition changes from good to bad, and I struggle to not let my sickness effect my focus on schoolwork.

Currently, everything is going good. Projects are all planned. On top of things. My group members in all classes are responsible, hard working, willing to listen/accept other people's opinions, and we all know what we're supposed to do.

I don't think I've ever felt so relieved and productive with a group before. I'm so glad we were able to choose our groups this time in Drake's class. Everyone is respectful, hard working, thoughtful, and active in group discussions. We actually get somewhere in our work. This is probably one of the first times I've actually felt like I didn't have to do all the work by myself in a big project. I know that teachers put certain people in groups because they want to balance everything out, but throughout my stay in high school, I don't remember a time where all my group members took my words seriously, following the schedule I designed for them. I always ended up doing all the work by myself because people were lazy to do their part, or because they turned in lacking, unfinished work that I couldn't allow to slide by.

But even though we didn't get to choose groups in Fisher's class, our group is over halfway done with the project as of today. Done with the website, halfway done with the scratch, and we're going to start the commercial today. I'm glad in Fisher's class, I have people who are willing to do their work, and listen to what I have to say. I'm glad my team members actually read my emails I send out, and do the homework I assign for them. Because everyone cooperates, I don't have to make extra time to get my members to listen to me, or waste time giving them a major lecture about their contribution.

Anyways, enough of the subject of projects. Well, lately, I've been having to stay up later than usual on school nights to be on top of things, but it definitely pays off because I'm ahead of everyone else in my schoolwork, and I have less homework the next day.

I'm so tired, and unfortunately, I won't be having "late arrival" tomorrow, since I have to get to school by 8:45 ish AM to rehearse in the PAC with my piano teacher for an upcoming competition. Yeah.... not being able to sleep in especially on a late arrival day is bad timing, but what can you do? Anyways, the grand piano in the PAC has a certain sound to it, that is excellent training for all pianists to practice on.

my toes and fingers are freeezing right now! why is it so cold?

I still have some other things to do. Well, nights everyone. Have fun sleeping in.

Quarter ends in 2 days, the 19th.

Monday, November 9, 2009

3 years.

When I look back to the years in middle school, it amazes me that I have already reached my second year of high school. Being called a "sophomore" just doesn't sound like me. I feel like I'm still in my old body as a 7th grader.

I remember being in 6th grade, looking at middle school students that came to visit their elementary school teachers. I remember thinking how mature and "cool" they looked. Then came middle school. as 7th grade passed and 8th grade came, everything went by so fast.

As I entered high school as a freshman, one part of me felt so old yet another part of me felt so young because I was a "freshman" - the youngest part of the group in high school. Now, here I am a sophomore. This is my last year as an underclassman. My last year to have the freedom I want to be immature, freedom from having to think about scholarships, psat's, sat's, and the final direction I'll be taking to pursue my career.

I feel nothing, just nothing at all. I don't feel any older, and I wish time could have a huge effect on me, so I could be more motivated each year.

Although it is only the beginning of the school year, I'm deeply grieved to know that everyone will be parting to follow their individual path. Whether it be running start, IB, tech. academy, or regular.... I wish the best of luck to all of you guys.

Because this year is the last year for everyone to be together as tech. family and for everyone to be an underclassman, I've decided to make this year the best. With all this time I've got, I should at least make memories, new friends, work hard, be productive, and use my potential to the fullest capacity. As a sophomore now, I have visions. I have goals. and I have dreams of the future. I've already thought and stressed enough of what I want to do and how to manage my priorities for next year and the year after that.

This year is something I want to make memorable. I want to really appreciate my teachers, be friendly to everyone, and do my best in everything I can so I return to KM as a junior next year with no regrets.

I just wanted to say, I'm going to miss you guys all. Really. Each and everyone of you. The tech. academy will forever be one of the main things I will remember from high school. It has taught me so much from learning how to standby a computer [YES, I wasn't much of a tech. geek back in 7th grade] to collaborating with my classmates with no limitations to educational resources because of my personal laptop. Thank you so much, everyone.

I admit I'm very sad about everyone parting, but I believe this is where our life will finally start to open up. When we make decisions for our future, we can't let anyone or anything stand in our way, and that includes your friends. Because of this mind-set I was taught to live by, I know I will not be afraid to approach foreign things by myself, because I know that if I really want to succeed, I have to accomplish things independently. Even though I can picture myself struggling and stressing at times, I believe in myself. And... I think having confidence and self-esteem are major components in being happy and succeeding. The reason I'm confident that I will be able to ge through things is because of my motivation. I don't remember a time where I gave up on something that I really wanted to do with all my heart, because I knew if I tried my best, I would reach the finish line. And regardless of the struggles and tough times I encountered, that one line I constantly reminded myself is what got me to reach my goals. From looking back to my life, I know that I've had a few valuable lessons to learn from. And those lessons are also what give me confidence and strong belief in the decisions and directions I take.

I know I am not perfect, but as long as I try my best with a righteous mind-set, I know my hard work will pay off. I'm ready, and willing to face all things with a positive approach.

I've realized it doesn't matter if you don't want to do something. It doesn't matter if you suck, fail, or fall behind. No one is going to care, or get out of their way to help you. This doesn't only apply to high school, but to life in general. When you fall behind, you pick yourself up and continue alone. Having friends, turning to a hand, crying on a shoulder, and receiving encouragement is a privilege. The rest is up to you. Your results of approaching something totally by yourself is the performance of how you will do in life when you're all by yourself.

It is now that I realize that one year leads after to another. Although that is such an obvious thing to consider, I never really took the time to understand or accept those words. Now that I'm older and finally managing my time more, I've began to see how fast time goes, and how much you can do in so little time.

So guys, let's make the best of the 3 years that are remaining in high school. Next year, I know a lot things are going to change, but I'll always remember and think of everyone.