Thursday, August 27, 2009

2nd post - letting you guys know

So i'm letting you guys know.....

I haven't been able to go on myspace, facebook, or etc. on the computer for a long time. I rarely go on the computer anymore, and if I do... it's not for long at all. I've just been kinda busy this summer.

Sorry :( So if you guys ever contacted me on those sites, just know I'm not ignoring any of you. I haven't been on for a long time, that's why.

if there's something urgent you gotta tell me, just contact me on my cell # even though I don't use my cell phone very much, too LOL. But I can most definitely reply to you through the phone/text eventually, because I'll check it every once in a while.

Thanks, for understanding :)



See you on... August 31st? right? haahah. we don't know yet, because of the teacher strike that started today. Man... honestly.. i don't know if the teacher strike is a good idea. I want to debate about it or something, especially if I'm in an angry mood, so I can vent LOL. jk =]

You're responsible for what happens to you. Only you.

Things happen for a reason. Everything does. Everything that has ever hurt, destroyed, or given you bliss…. all happens because of the decisions you’ve made. Because of the actions you formed based on your thoughts, because of the people you decided to befriend or be surrounded with. Because of the words you ever so lightly twisted. The only person you should ever blame and point fingers at…. is the one in the mirror. Yourself. That’s the very first person you start with, before you turn to others.

A few days ago at Church, I learned something… so amazing. It was like a huge hit in the head, that I really needed. I felt so refreshed and alive. I mean, I never expected to come across this kind of experience. A guest speaker that was also a pastor/missionary came as a speaker, all the way from Columbia. This man was amazing, and the moment you met eyes with him, you could sense the kindness right through him. He was one of the few people I could look in the eyes, and know how wise, warm he was. He has been blessed in countless ways because of his positive and appreciative outlook on life, and because of his faith in God.

I don’t want to go very far into details about every little thing, but I’ll go straight into the message of what I learned.

I’ve realized…. anyone can be thankful for what they have, regardless of their situation, financial and social status. But at the same time, many are blind to what they have infront of them, and become ignorant of all their blessings and gifts because they could have possibly given one a lot of resentment, unpleasant memories, and pain in their heart. BUT I’ve realized… it’s only up to YOU to take in those memories and accept the past. It’s up to YOU to want to remember what happened. You can’t blame anyone or anything for what you went through, or suffered It’s the past, move on.

If you become ignorant and just completely erase the past, the only wisdom and knowledge you have is based on the temporary things you’ve experienced. It’s only from the now, the present. You can’t claim to know or make judgements on anything or anyone if you can’t fully comprehend yourself. If you can’t accept what happened.

When you’re ignorant to whatever you’ve simply decided to slip by or erase, you put a blind fold over your eyes, sometimes without even knowing. You live your life, day by day, adding onto the ignorance and the hate.

You have to realize… things happen for a reason. You should be thankful for everything that has happened, even the most unbearable, unpleasant situations.. because it’s THOSE experiences that bring greater joy and wisdom over time.

Do not blind yourself at your own fault. Once you accept Jesus Christ into your life and realize the things you were blind to, you’re no longer the same you. Your eyes open up to a new world, and you want to do better. You want to change, you want to pass on to others the things you’ve learned, and everything that has hit your heart. You want to be the best you can, for the Lord.
There is always a time for everyone to experience their turning point. Who knows, it make take 10 years, 20 years, or you could unexpectedly encounter a miracle the next day. Who really knows. But God has a plan, he knows the time you will understand. You see, as Christians, we need to serve our everything to the Lord. we can’t erase what WE want, and take what we desire. We’re nothing compared to the Lord. We’re disciples in Christ.

If you protect your own wisdom and knowledge based on the little experiences you’ve encountered in your life, you lack in so many ways. God has things in store for us, things he wants us to learn from based on the challenges in our life. we have to accept all those things to take in everything God wants us to learn from. we simply cannot be ignorant. We cannot be shallow. We have to be acceptive. We cannot dwell on the past, because those are all blessings to us.

We need to allow ourselves to have God take authority over us, and be open minded and appreciative towards everything that will ever happen in our life. So if you have a blind fold on your eyes, or if you have not met Jesus Christ…

Please listen to me. Take a chance, and a little time to understand Jesus christ, and what he’s done to our lives. Without him, I would be nothing I would lack in so many ways. I would not be able to know what direction I should take, or what I should hold back. He is the ONE and ONLY that can be there for you, regardless of the place, and time. He’ll always be there for you. Please, put aside your ignorance and take this experience to loosen your mind…. and the see world with a new set of eyes.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Time just flies.

August 31st is fastly approaching, and the days are only tallying down one by one....

It makes me feel so sick and stressed to know that school is almost here. I don't want to sound like some emo child, but school has given me a lot of stress. I mean A LOT of stress. It's always been like that. Having to juggle extracurricular activities, practice, studying/homework altogether is a lot for me. Especially when you have to commute to different areas back and forth. One day seems like a minute, because I always have to do this and that. I wish time went by slower :(

Time management, and responsibility is a huge thing especially in high school. Although school did bring great memories, the stress is what really effected me. Lack of sleep and energy, a bunch of weight on my shoulders, and cramming. That's what my life was like everyday during the school year. I never had spare time for myself or for my friends. I would have to miss out on family dinners and get-togethers. I remember every time my friends asked me how I was doing or how my day was going, I would always reply back with, "I don't know. I'm just so tired. Worn out. Stressed." or something like that. I was so cranky, and I wasn't able to show the real me. I hate it how stress got ahold of me. I know I shouldn't be negative, but at times there was a lot to handle all at once, so I had to vent. I felt like I was being pulled in so many directions. That's exactly the reason why I love VACATIONS so much. Although I continue with my extracurricular activities and individual studies, I can still relax. I can sleep as much as I want everyday, not having to feel utterly tired.

But having to know that I have to go back to my miserable lifestyle really saddens me. It gives me this depressing, queasy feeling.

I know i'm complaining too much. But I've done a lot of damage to my health by lacking so much sleep, while being at home only for a few hours to study and then sleep. My involvments were basically my home. I would get home late from this and that, and by then, I'd feel so worn out, still having to deal with homework and studying.

It feels good to be productive, but I don't want to constantly feel tired and worn out. It really sucks out all my energy. I try so hard to stay on top of things with a sharp mind, but when you're really tired.... your mind can't function at all. But I can't do anything about it, because I need to follow my priorities.

I wish it was easier to be optimistic. I should be excited for school, but then I don't want to lose my focus on school, by paying attention to the wrong things.

well, I have plans for sophomore year. I have goals. dreams. and things to do. I've already planned them and I've took advantage of this summer, preparing. In fact, I have future plans for the rest of my high school years as well. Regardless of how stressed I am, and what I have to go through, I'll work myself to do my best within everything. I really need to improve tremendously in every single year of high school, and throughout my whole life. I just hope I'll be able to have the same determination and endurance, even if I get worn out. I'm going to try to make this school year really memorable. I want to really "live my life" this school year, or at least be happier than I was compared to freshman year.

God. These are the times where I really wished a time machine was invented. Seriously. so many thoughts are just going through my mind.

I just hope this year as I turn one year older, I'll be able to mature more - as I appreciate my surroundings, learn how to endure, and look on the bright side. I hope that I'll be less tired, depending on how I manage my time strictly.

SIGGGHHH. I don't want to be a sophomore. I didn't know that I'd get here so fast. after 2 more years, i'll be off.... to the college world.