Monday, June 6, 2011

To Be Honest,

I'm sick of all this.

I'm sick of IB.

The truth is, people who are in core and RS will most likely go to the same college as the IB diploma kids. A lot of us weren't educated about the game and how college admissions work. UW is no longer a "back-up" school for a lot of us. It's actually going to be a challenge. NYU or Oxford can be a reach-high school, but in the end, just another rejection.

I know I shouldn't be saying this and generalizing this for all the IB diploma kids, but I'm just stating what normally happens every year at our school.

I'm just in an extremely cynical, stressful, angry, resentful, and overall, negative mood. This is a pre-letter of what I would write after this school year would be over:

The only thing I'm happy about this year is getting away from a place full of IB crap, the same people I lived, breathed, complained, and practically stayed up all night with, and the teachers who gave us an endless, unmerciful amount of work. As I leave, all I can say is, eff you guys. I only remember being happy a couple times this year, and the rest of the 180 days was a never ending cycle of work, work, work, and a robotic routine. Up until this year, I was fine with that and I was willing to devote my life to all work. But now that I think about, I've realized life isn't going to magically get better and neither will I be "living the life" after college. I'll still be working my whole life. In fact, I'll have to work even harder than now. I've got to enjoy the present and what I have now. I'm still a kid. Heck, I'm a human being.

Everyone was right. I stress out way too much and sometimes, I put it on myself. Here's the word of the day: chill.

I just need to learn how to chill. I have a MILLON things to do tonight and I have approximately 6 hours to do it all, but you know what? Eff it. I'll just do what's due tomorrow, calm down, and do things that are due the next day. Live for today, and for tomorrow, live for tomorrow.

I'm not letting a stupid program take away everything from me. IB, I'm finished with you in one year and after that, I'm done. I hate you, with everything I have in me.

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