Tuesday, October 26, 2010

It's been a while.

I can't believe a few months have passed by already. I've forgotten about blogspot, and just everything. my friends, sleep, and simple pleasures.

I have been ridiculously busy. I have never been so busy in my entire life. I have absolutely no time any day of the week. In fact, I'm even busier on the weekends now. My life is going 1000X faster and my energy is running out just as fast.

My sleeping schedule is wack. I woke up just now at 4:30 AM not feeling tired because of last night. I have been falling asleep in 3rd period History, one of my favorite classes.

I feel like maybe I plan to accomplish too much in junior year, I won't be able to accomplish anything at all if I only try to fulfill my desires and wishful thinking, rather than taking on the things I can do. But if I think about it, everything I'm doing now I cannot sacrifice or leave out. I have to keep going.

the only solution is to organize my time even more and become more self-disciplined. i'm willing to do that. It's just going to be hard and times are going to be lonely, but once I get over this, by now time senior year will come and things will be a bit lighter.

I wish I could re-connect with those I lost touch with and apologize to them for not taking the time of day to call/text them back, or spare a few minutes. I wish the same people could talk to me freely without any hesitance or thoughts that I would be unwilling to listen to them because I am busy. I'm beginning to understand that although my productivity benefits me, it seems to create a distance with my peers and friends. If only I knew that earlier. But then, I probably wouldn't be as focused and strict on myself as I am now. Pros and cons. Is it independence or selfishness? I really don't know. All I know is that I want to myself and others to be happy, but then again, you can't please everyone. You just got to do your best.

I miss everyone dearly. I wish we didn't have to go separate ways, but then that's life.

1 comment:

Tyler Walker said...

I just saw a Blogger button, and decided to post. It would be cool if a network of IB students started posting about things... It's interesting to see what we think about.

oh, and 1000x is relatively how fast my life is going also :)