Monday, June 22, 2009

Valuable Lesson Learned

Everyone should come to learn this, at a certain point in their life. I've finally realized what it means to take one's life for granted. I've come to realize that everyone takes their life for granted whether or not they have certain experiences that have reminded them along the way to be appreciative, and look at the big picture. I've also come to realize how one can only come to see how valuable life really is.... once they see it gone in their eyes.

Today was father's day - a time to appreciate, celebrate, and love our dads who have done so much for all these years we've come to live. I can't imagine my life without my dad, because he's been there for every second of my life. Like everyone else, we've had our ups and downs, but those experiences are what always allowed us to understand each other more. Not only has my dad seen me grow for my 15 years in life, but I've seen him grow to understand and accept that I'm growing up. The people both of us were a year ago, are totally different compared to who we are now. I love my dad, and the times we shared are all indescribable. He's my everything, and I'd have to say I want my future husband to have a loving, supportive, compromising, and hardworking personality like him. I swear, I have not seen one man like my dad in this world. He's such a rare person to come across these days, and I can't lie.

What makes this day so special is not only the fact that it's Father's day, but also that everyone in the house as a family can come to appreciate what their husband, father, or grandfather has done in their lives. The wives, children, mothers, and grandmothers all gather together to share stories and past experiences they had with the men in the house. A lot of people should be fortunate to be able to have this kind of experience. What made me write this blog was not just because I wanted to talk about my dad, but also because at my church, I saw a man walking all alone in the cafeteria, spacing over large groups of people, while carrying a tissue close to his face. What I didn't know was that this man lost his wife just last week, from 4 years of cancer. Once I found out, I was heart-broken and felt so sorry for this man. As my mom went up to give her condolescences and tell him to grab something to eat, he tried to give his appreciation without the tears, but I guess he couldn't handle all the pressure from everyone. He was eager to just leave because he couldn't stop himself from crying. It all seemed like a scene from a movie. It just lasted a few seconds, but those seconds really taught me one of the most valuable lessons. It was people like him that could no longer experiences these moments under a warm household, with a complete family. I felt so guilty, and sad for him. I couldn't bare to stare into his face, for fear that I might cry while looking into his eyes that were filled with tears.

This man spent 4 years trying to balance his job, while taking care of his 7 year old daughter, along with paying hospital bills for his wife who had cancer. Just trying to picture all the hardships this man encountered, let alone trying to appear strong for his weak wife.... really made me emotional. And you know what? This man didn't have a rough start from the beginning. He was a professional baseball player in a famous Korean baseball team, and from looking at his past pictures, his wife was really beautiful and had pretty hair. It's hard to believe after looking at the present, and seeing her cover her head with hats after losing all her hair due to cancer. And not forgetting to mention, her husband got blind in one eye after an accident from his baseball career. All in all, these two made a beautiful couple, and regardless of how tragic, and horrible their fate could get... they always had faith and appreciated everything in their life. That's what allowed them to continue on, and never give up. I still remember to this day what this woman said. Just a few days before she passed away, she said after she recovered, she would drive all the ladies from church around in her van, and have fun going to the mall, spending time with all the girls. And this.... I can never forget. A young lady in her 20's was growing her hair to a really long length, and she told the lady with cancer that she would donate the hair to her after she recovered, and the moment she spoke those words.... the sick wife had a huge smile on her face, as her eyes sparkled with delight and excitement. I can never forget what she said, "Then I'm going to recover! I have to!" I couldn't imagine how much she must've missed her image before. To lose such beauty, strength, abilities, freedom, and her hair... must've really gotten to her. To have someone tell her it was all going to come back to her after recovery, must've really wanted her to get better.

Well, The man of this sick wife was not only very polite, but so kind, and warm to everyone he met eyes. To imagine how great of a hubsand he was to his wife, and how much he wanted to offer to her really put me in shock. Not only did I think, "In the future, I want a husband like that. Someone who can really love me, and stick with me to the end. To the point where I die," but I also thought of how people really took their lives for granted, and committed suicide just because they were sick and tired of undergoing and constantly enduring hardships. Let me tell you something. Humans are always going to encounter hardships whether or not they want to. We don't live a perfect life, and we aren't perfect ourselves. We need flaws, challenges, and problems to help us work - to survive and improve in our world. It's just the way things work, and regardless of how much more you think you go through compared to the person sitting next to you, there's always someone who always goes through the same thing as you. We never really are alone in this world, no matter how lonely, dark, and gloomy things may seem at the moment. In the end, once everyone reflects their life in the next 50 years, we'll all come to realize that everyone's problems were about the same, and somehow connected and tied to one another. Problems are all problems, and they can all be fixed.

When this man's wife was still alive, he was busy trying to balance so many things - a good father to daughter and wife to husband relationship, and a financially stable household, altogether. Most importantly, he was trying to endure all the pain and stress he bottled inside, just so he could let his wife know he could protect her, and let her know that things would be okay. The fact that she didn't have to worry. I found out that the ladies at my church would go over to his house just to take care of the man's child while he was at work, and they would wash the dishes, and do the laundry. And one time, for the girl's birthday, they decorated her room in pink and got presents for her because her parents couldn't afford it. I'm so thankful to know that there are still people who take the time to really reach out and care for others. This makes me feel as if there are still good people in the world. It makes feel safe, and so happy. Honestly, I don't know if I could ever grow to be such a good person like this man. Someone who is willing to be loyal, supportive, and give his all to the end, just for one person that he loves - to the point where one is out of energy and effort, but still continues on. All these things not only takes a lot of courage, but changes you drastically in so many ways you couldn't even fathom. I'm so glad I spotted this man today, because if it weren't for him, this day wouldn't have been as good as it could have been. Now I have an example that I can turn to when I want to be a better person, and when I make decisions. Now I know how valuable life really is, and what it means to truly love someone. I've come to realize suicide is not only a regretful thing to do, but it's one of the most selfish deeds one can make.

Honestly, just putting myself in this particular man's shoes brought tears to my eyes, and made me aware that I should put in that little effort to tell my dad how much he means to me, and that I love him, because reality is... you never know when someone's going to die. And you never know what you have until it's gone. Just seeing this man mourn silently on the inside while he clutched his little girl's hand, really made me realize that people are so stupid and hard-headed to not take the time to understand their problems until someone dies - until something tragic happens. Watching this man from a distance felt like the same experience as seeing someone die in front of my very eyes. I feel so appreciative to learn this valuable lesson today. Words can really not express all the emotions that are bursting in my chest.

I most definitely give my condolescences to his humble man, and his little girl. And you guys should really be aware that you should ALWAYS appreciate what you have, because everything you can be gone the next day. Everything always happens for a reason.

So make this day special, and tell your dad you love him, no matter how much they've bugged you, lectured you, or emotionally scarred you. Your dads are there for a reason, and they're fathers for a reason. They all love you, I can reassure you. And not only love your dads, but everyone - your family, friends, teachers, and even enemies. we only have one life, and we might as well live it by having a clean slate.

I just have so much more to say, but words can really not describe everything. I'm going to end by saying this:

I love you dad, Happy Father's Day. I want to say that thank you for everything and sorry for all the things I've done that dissapointed and hurt you.

And Lastly, my prayers go out to everyone, and this special man.

Please don't take another day for granted, and take time to appreciate everything as you look at the big picture, not just because it's out of pity for this man, but because of what could happen in future. Do it for yourself as an individual, and for your loved ones around you.We'll all have a tragic, life-changing moment just like the man who lost his wife, but regardless of the effects, we should always be thankful that it happened, instead of mourning and complaining about it.


LoveatFirstSight 8^] said...

Oh my gosh. How much more amazing can you be, lovee? Freaking A. Haha. This has hit me.
Thank you, Esther. Thank you.

Walker said...

Great job :) I really liked it!